Man Up

by Emily Oldrieve

Recently, whilst queueing in a popular coffee shop, I overheard a conversation between two female friends which included the phrase: ‘that girl needs to man up’. At the time I took little notice of this as my concentration was fully engaged in obtained a much needed caffeine hit; however, in retrospect, I feel this statement needs some consideration, especially in terms of gender equality. On examining the episode it struck me that, perhaps more bizarre than the glaring contradiction expressed, was the fact that I did not immediately identify the statement as a contradiction. It seems that loaded phrases such as these have become common colloquialisms, at least for certain sections of modern British society. The two main points I want to consider are how important it is, in the grand scheme of things, to take the time to worry about something as abstract as a throw-away comment made in casual conversation. Furthermore to then understand what exactly the connotations of the phrase ‘man up’ actually are.

To address my first point, I must admit that I did initially feel my topic might be fairly insignificant when I read through previous blogs on this website which contain heart-wrenching stories, and facts that paint a scary picture for gender equality across the globe. Obviously what I am talking about isn’t the difference between life and death; however I feel we must not forget the seemingly little things which can, sometimes, make us aware of inequalities embedded in our society. Although words in themselves cannot be compared to an immediate, physical threat it is the vast amount of social and historical implications behind a phrase that represents the danger. To clarify this, I came across a rather interesting radio program hosted by Stephen Fry for the BBC entitled He Said, She Said (available on BBC i-player). Although he is exploring a slightly different issue he does discuss how during the 1970-80s women campaigned against words such as ‘chairman‘ claiming it should be ‘chairperson’, and ‘humankind‘ instead of ‘mankind‘. A significant part of their campaign was aimed at an awareness that certain words are unfairly orientated, in this case towards men. The importance of changing words and phrases for these women lay in the fact that words are heavily loaded with social meaning that every member of that society understands albeit subconsciously. I am not suggesting that we should be saying ‘person up’ or exiling gender based phrases from our vocabulary, but i am emphasising the importance behind words and the role they have in maintaining or establishing gender inequalities, and that we should be aware of what we are saying if we are to use these phrases.

So, what exactly are we saying? The phrase ‘man up’ as I understand it means that one should either stop being overly sensitive, be brave or take responsibility. Does this therefore mean that only men can possess these qualities, and for women to become less sensitive or braver they must become more masculine? Can there not be a un-sensitive or a brave female personality? Similarly if this phrase is implying that a man is un-sensitive and hardened does this mean that all males must display these characteristics to be classed as a ‘man’? Furthermore is it suggesting men should be more obligated than women to live up to these characteristics? Any or none of these interpretations could be valid, but if these are the insinuations that lie behind a seemingly harmless comment it is an example of the dangerous and old fashioned stereotypes still being kept alive implicitly behind everything we say. Essentially this phrase relies upon, and supports, unhelpful generalisations about gender and detract from positive changes that are being attempted in our society in general. If nothing else this goes to highlight how issues of equality can affect every facet of our lives, and we should be aware of attacking inequality from every angle: even when we are gossiping in coffee shops!

The Way We Were

by Emma Holden

Today, in England, gender inequality is still obvious. We like to think that we live in an equal country; with the rights of women prioritised. But wherever we go, we still see forms of discrimination. A woman earns 66 pence for every £1 a man earns in the same job. How is this fair? The onus of childcare is still very much on women, although through the recent recession, we have seen an increase in fathers staying at home, taking the role of a ‘yummy daddy’ whist the wife goes out to work. This has also caused a problem, with many mothers regarding fathers in the playground as suspicious, because it is so different from the traditional norm. There is the misconception; because of media attention of paedophilia, that men looking after children is not ‘PC’. It’s the tradition that women should look after the children. We need to stop thinking one gender is superior to the other. But it’s not as simple as that. Much of Europe has come a long way in changing chauvinist delusion, but this has taken time. We cannot change cultures and traditions by just snapping our fingers. It takes time and knowledge.

We challenge the way Britain views women, but we challenge a situation that has improved dramatically over past generations. We fail to remember that our society is so developed. Maybe our expectations are too high. But everyone should demand and receive equal rights. Nowhere should it be practiced that men have rights over women. We English…We’re the lucky ones, aren’t we? Those conscientious of us worried about the inequalities within gender relations should look abroad to the unlucky ones, where to give birth to a baby girl is viewed as distasteful and is a hindrance. Many mothers choose to end the life of her daughter in sex selective abortions, particularly common in India, so the unborn baby girl would not have to suffer a life of coercion, physical abuse and confinement.

Instead of growing up with their parents telling them “they can be who they want to be”, young girls in many developing countries fight the continual battle of servitude and are subjected to physical and mental abuse from a very early age of 9 or 10.

It is accepted in Britain that woman should have the liberty to divorce an abusive husband, publicly flirt or choose her own husband. But why is it that in some cultures the opposite is the case? Women bear most of the responsibility for her family and produce half of the world’s food, yet are denied access to resources they need to satisfy this burden. Two thirds of the world’s illiterate and the vast majority of the world’s poor are women. In many developing countries, if the actions of a woman should dishonour her family she would be disciplined to honour her family’s reputation. This often means the execution of an innocent woman for standing out against chauvinist traditions. In Pakistan, three of these ‘honour killings’ take place a day, including victims of rape.

Tradition calls for women to eat last, and are often reduced to picking over the leftovers from the men and boys. The current world food price crisis has caused devastating problems with malnutrition of women and children. Women are often denying themselves their one meal a day to ensure their children are fed. As long as girls and women are treated as inferior and less valuable than boys, malnutrition will remain high and countries such as Bangladesh will suffer impaired economic growth as a result.

The core of poverty and chauvinism rises from the misuse of power within countries and communities. Women who have an education are more likely to survive a child’s birth, get married later and have a better job, as well as protect themselves from HIV/AIDS. All over the world girls are denied an education, and are destined to a life of serfdom. In some parts of India, it is traditional to greet a family with a newborn girl by saying, "The servant of your household has been born." We need to change this. With an education a woman can gain a higher status within her community. This status translates as power to influence families and friends. Women can only speak out against their livelihoods if they have the education and thus confidence to do so. In England in 1918, the Representation of the People’s Act was passed which marked the beginning of female suffrage in Britain. The educated suffragettes had a large part in this. With more education the future of the world will change, and it will change for the better. An educated woman is a confident woman. When we women come together we can work miracles. Let’s stop gender inequality. Let’s educate the masses.

Embrace your Inner Girl

by Stephanie Hubbard

I was doing a bit of casual Internet surfing the other day when I came across this blog post by Jaqueline Campbell about feminism and femininity. Her post 'My Right to be a Feminist' features on the MTV Staying Alive campaign website as part of their 'Right to be Me' season.

Jaqueline's post is inspiring as she strives to dispel the myths around feminism and expresses that to be a feminist is not a declaration of hatred for all things male nor is it a rejection of female sexuality. She defines her concept of feminism in her powerful parting statement:

'Feminism is my right to say that painting my nails red and studying physics are not mutually exclusive.'

Her post reminded me of a powerful speech given by Eve Ensler, writer of the Vagina Monologues and founder of V Day. Her speech for TED Talks discusses the presence of the 'girl cell' in all of us that we have been taught to suppress.

'I want you to imagine that this girl cell is compassion, and it's empathy, and it's passion itself, and it's vulnerability, and it's openness and it's intensity and it's association, and it's relationship, and it is intuitive.

And then let's think how compassion informs wisdom, and that vulnerability is our greatest strength, and that emotions have inherent logic, which lead to radical, appropriate, saving action. And then let's remember that we've been taught the exact opposite by the powers that be, that compassion clouds your thinking, that it gets in the way, that vulnerability is weakness, that emotions are not to be trusted, and you're not supposed to take things personally, which is one of my favorites.

I think the whole world has essentially been brought up not to be a girl.'

She goes on to share terrible stories of genital mutilation, rape and abuse endured by women the world over. She exposes how much the world degrades, marginalises, tortures and humiliates girls and how little value is placed in them.

'I've seen that we cut girls and we control them and we keep them illiterate, or we make them feel bad about being too smart. We silence them. We make them feel guilty for being smart. We get them to behave, to tone it down, not to be too intense. We sell them, we kill them as embryos. We enslave them. We rape them. We are so accustomed to robbing girls of the subject of being the subjects of their lives that we have now actually objectified them and turned them into commodities.'

Powerful words indeed. Eve also argues that men have a right to embrace their 'girl cell' and suggests that this culture of teaching our boys to suppress emotions of compassion, vulnerability and empathy is the root cause of some of society's biggest problems.

Eve's passionate speech calls us to recognise that to be a girl is not to be weak. Being a girl is to be a powerful, resilient and resourceful being. To be a girl is to be 'an emotional creature' and Eve's piece at the end of her speech is a powerful call to empowerment for everyone with an inner 'girl cell'.



Jaqueline is exercising her right to be a girl and so should we all.